Domestic

Martha Stewart would be proud of me this week. She might even want to hirer me. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I’m experiencing a domestic frenzy of sorts. I can’t seem to stop doing terribly domestic things. I’m a housewife by trade so I do domestic things all the time (some less exciting than others) but this week is something else all together.

For instance…

…check out this fridge. Have you ever seen a fridge so sparkling clean and orderly? I really went to town on it, with toothbrush, Clorox and all. (I usually don’t keep that many eggs, but it was Easter)

Can you see smiling Rachel Ray hiding behind the ground flax seed, so happy to be living in my newly cleaned fridge?

I’ve even got the makings of some yogurt cheese, all wrapped in cheese cloth and Saran, there on the bottom shelf. I can’t stop making yogurt cheese. It’s so good on bagels, sandwiches, or as a base for creamy (and healthier) dips. Hey, maybe I’ll trying making my own bagels? Hummmm….

In my frenzy, I mixed up and baked a huge batch of homemade granola.

I’m always trying different recipes for granola because I’m obsessed with it and everyone at my house loves to eat it (except Jeffrey of course). I’ve tried many recipes I like, but I think I’ve finally found the quintessential one. It’s got the perfect ratio of nuts to grains. It’s not too sweet, but sweet enough, and it’s crunchy, not chewy. I don’t like chewy granola.

Recipe found here. I tweaked it a bit, but not much. (Left out the millet because I didn’t have any, and accidentally left out the brown sugar. Thought I would miss it, but I don’t)

And, as if that wasn’t enough, I baked up a batch of homemade bread…

…my neighbor Cherish’s recipe. Turns out perfectly every time. You can’t mess it up.

Nothing says domestic like the smell of home made bread in the house.

I also finished all the laundry (including ironing) in one day, organized cupboards and closets, cleaned the boys bathroom more thoroughly than usual (YUCK, boys pee everywhere!) and subsequently completed a myriad of other less exciting, but essential domestic tasks. (Let’s not leave Mike out of this either, he cleaned out the van and the garage this week).

Look at us go! Do you think this might have something to do with Spring arriving? If I didn’t know better I’d say I was nesting.

After this week, do you think Martha would hire me?

I don’t know? She might want to think twice. Ever since my cousin Stephen started working for Martha, many years ago, I’ve had these reoccurring dreams that I’m working as Martha’s personal assistant and I simply cannot seem to complete the basic tasks that she assigns me. For example…we’re at a photo shoot and she asks me to iron her blouse. A simple enough task, but I can’t find the ironing board, the blasted iron won’t heat up when I turn it on, and the starch spray can malfunctions just as she comes around the corner in her skivvies demanding her blouse.

Or…we’re at her house in Bedford, taking photos of her impeccably manicured vegetable garden for the magazine. I’m the designated photographer, but I can’t seem to take any pictures that don’t show an ugly, unsightly chain link fence in the background or foreground. She then asks me to bring her a freshly picked beet and I accidentally bring her a bunch of radishes instead.  In all these dreams I’m running around frantically, knowing that Martha is going to rail on me any second, and completely humiliated that I can’t complete the simplest of domestic tasks for the goddess of domesticity.

What could these dreams mean, and why do I keep having them over and over again? Anybody want to take a crack at interpreting? Stephen, is it your fault? In all these dreams you’re always there, performing perfectly, where as I am a mess.

I think these dreams could be revealing something about my deepest insecurities or my worst fears; or maybe they’re just comical (they are comical) and really mean nothing at all, but I’m not sure. Any guesses?

While you figure it out I think I’ll go have myself a bowl of homemade granola with yogurt cheese.

Speaking of Martha…look who showed up in the May issue of MSL. See if you can spot anyone you know….

Hint: You might see me and Karen, Mary Kate and Jenny, Meredith B, Grace and Joyce, Emilie (tiny), John D, Aunt Rosie, and Mlle. Marguerite.

Thanks Stephen, for making us all cool and famous!