Finally!

It hasn’t snowed substantially around here since the first week in December. Mike’s attitude about this has been very sour. He subscribes to the philosophy that if it’s going to be freezing cold we might as well enjoy some snow. We live in a peculiar area. Because of where we are situated amidst the mountains and such, the storms usually pass right over, dumping on the surrounding areas, not on us. (Let is be said that some of us think this is a good thing.)

So here it is, the tail end of January, and it has finally snowed enough in our little corner of the world to allow the kids to actually enjoy it. Mike still isn’t satisfied. As you can see from the grass peeking through in the picture above, it’s not really all that deep. He and the boys still managed to make an actual snowman though. Something we’ve been waiting all winter to do.

Here he is, the long anticipated man of snow. The only thing lacking was a carrot for the nose. Don’t worry, Mom came to the rescue……..

….awe….much better!

The recent snow fall has also inspired other children in the neighborhood. My neighbor Whitney presented me with this amazing paper snow flake this morning….

…… Of course I made a proper fuss about it, gushing about how sweet she was to think of me. I was really trying to make her feel good, even taking a picture of her holding her art. Then, on her way out the door, she looked at me and said, “Jill, I really made that snow flake for the crossing guard lady, but I decided I didn’t want to carry it all the way to school, that’s why I gave it to you!”

Oh.

Thanks anyway Whit.

Melissa

My cousin Melissa and I always laugh when we see this picture. It’s the perfect portrait of us as children. She with her knee patched blue jeans, orange vest,and short hair cut. Me in my pink ribbons and ruffled nightgown. Tom boy and Miss Priss.

Melissa and I were different. She liked to ride bikes, start fires, catch bugs and dig in dirt with my brother much more than she liked organizing jewelry boxes with me, but as we got older our differences narrowed, she managed to get over being jealous of my Wonder Women Underoos, and we became good friends. Here we are at the K-Mart photo booth about high school age. I know… you don’t have to say it…. my hair-do is awesome!

When I went to college at Utah State, I moved in with my grandparents. Although I loved living there, it was pretty lonely all by myself. Things really started looking up when Melissa moved in the next year. Those were good times. We had rooms across the hall from each other, we shared a small bathroom and a very (very) large car.

We had fun too. We never missed an episode of Colombo. Remember him? We watched every classic movie available at Somers Video. We went for long walks up the canyon, ate lots of graham crackers and ice cream, listened to the King and I soundtrack over and over, helped Grandma with her cross word puzzles, laughed heartily at Grandpa’s jokes, and even managed to study occasionally. It was Melissa who was responsible for getting me through chemistry. She was a much better student than me.

We double dated a lot too. I don’t think I would have dated much in college if hadn’t been for Melissa. Every guy she went out with (and there were quite a few) usually had a friend for me.

Before every date, Grandma would inspect our make-up and outfits. I wish I had a nickel for every lecture Melissa and I got about the importance of wearing lip-stick! Grandma held tightly to the firm belief that lipstick was essential when trying to catch a husband. Below is a  picture of us before a date. I think we passed inspection that night. See… we are both wearing lipstick.

It was actually because of Melissa that I met Mike. She was dating a guy who was friends with Mike. They set us up. Melissa was always a big fan of Mike. When other guys were around providing a little competition for him, she always rooted for him. She knew he was way better than any of those other guys. She was right.

After I got married, Melissa left for a mission to the Philippines. She could really gross me out with her stories of filthy rats, dinner plate sized spiders, and the constant battle with lice she fought while serving there. The little Pilipino kids were fascinated with her blond hair so they always shared their lice with her. Melissa has a much stronger stomach than me. I don’t think I would have survived any of that.

When Melissa got home from her mission she married Joe and soon after she had her first baby, David. That’s her with David below.

Just one month ago she gave birth to her 6th baby. A girl named Carly.

Yesterday I called Melissa and we talked on the phone for two hours. We don’t see each other often. We don’t talk often, but when we do we can talk forever. I love it. I love her.

Thanks for being such a great cousin Melissa.

The Limeliters And Their Life Lessons

When I was a kid we had this Limeliters record… the actual record, not the CD. I’m old.

I used to listen to it over and over on my Fisher-Price record player while carefully studying the faces of the sixties attired children on the record jacket. Glenn, Lou, Alex and their accompanying children’s choir sang songs about trains bound for glory, whaling ship adventures, lollipop trees growing in the backyard, giraffes in bubble baths, and staying on the sunny side of life. It was, and still is, one of my favorite children’s albums.

My kids got CD players for Christmas this year so I went on a search for music that they might like to listen to. In my search I unearthed this little gem of an album once again. It’s been years since I’ve listened to it. It was fun rediscovering it with my kids (on CD this time). My kids love it too.

The title song on this album is super catchy and has an important message for adults. It’s given me something to think about these days, in light of my new commitment not to yell at my kids. I find myself singing it in my head often. (It doesn’t help that my kids are playing it on their CD players 24/7).

Here are some of the words from the song:

There once was beagle, happy little beagle, following his tail around, When his mother said, “Go straight to bed, and don’t make a single sound!”
What happened to the beagle, happy little beagle, who never learned to bay?
Some burglars came and to his shame, he turned tail and ran away!

There once was a bunny, fluffy little bunny, through the piney woods he roamed.
When his father cried, “Come back inside! A bunny belongs at home!”
What happened to the bunny, fluffy little bunny, who never learned to hop?
Because that bunny couldn’t hop, he hangs in a butcher shop!

What were saying is:
Hey Jimmie Joe John Jim Jack, even little bunnies lose their knack, When somebody twice their size, can’t see the world through children’s eyes……..

Don’t do this, don’t do that, you might as well just be a statue.
That’s how children lose their spark.
But if grow ups would take part in things their children have their heart in, they’d never end up hiding in the dark.

What were saying is:
Hey Jimmie Joe John Jim Joe. When you have your own kids, let them know,
Even though you’re twice their size, you see the world through children’s eyes!

Very wise those Limeliters, eh?

In the weeks of quiet I have been enjoying in our home (and inside myself) since our commitment to stop yelling, I’ve had the chance to think a bit more contemplatively about my parenting. I think I’ve pin-pointed exactly why I yell so much. It’s simple really. I’m a control freak, an obsessive, compulsive, control freak. I have this need to control my environment, and to control the people who affect my environment most profoundly, i.e. my kids. I’m a worrier too. I worry about my kids, worry about their lives, worry about what I need to do to keep them from messing up their lives….. so I yell.

A few days ago while waiting for Mary Kate at the orthodontist, I read this article in Time magazine, which describes a relatively new, and according to this article, detrimental phenomenon, called: helicopter parenting; parenting that involves the constant hovering over ones children, supervising their every action, monitoring every decision in an effort to protect them from mistakes and to give them the edge in a competitive world. Although the examples of over-parenting given in the article were quite extreme and not at all like me, some of what the article said resonated with me. Kids need room to breath, to learn, to make mistakes and pick themselves up again. In other words; bunnies need to learn to hop… like the song says.

So I’ve come to a conclusion…… I need to chill. My new mantra: “Just chill Jill.” Like my brothers used to say to me when we were kids.

I think I am learning to chill more. One major benefit of this no yelling policy is that it is really helping me to relax, to be a bit more thoughtful in my approach to my children. It’s helping me give them a little more room to……..be. You should see how this has transformed piano practicing, just as one example. Amazing!

Just to report, I’ve only had to do three sets of sit ups so far. Not bad, eh? I think I like chillin’.

A Wedding and a Funeral

My sister-in-law Laura became Mrs.Timothy Hanley last week. Laura and Tim planned, and pulled off, a beautiful wedding from afar (they live in Massachusetts and the wedding was in Utah). It was a lovely day for all of us.

We really like Tim. He is a very nice person and has many qualities we admire. For instance, he came here to Utah and spent several days cooped up in Mike’s parent’s house with every single member of the Dickey family (26 people and a dog), and was as pleasant as could be. Not only was he pleasant but he was helpful, patient and good to everyone. He even made the entire family a delicious meal… beef burgundy over mashed potatoes. He is a talented cook, but our favorite thing about Tim is how good he is to Laura. Welcome to the family Tim!

My pictures from the wedding didn’t turn out great, much to my disappointment. I hope to post some better one’s later, but I did like this picture of the boys in their suspenders…..

….and this one of Mary Kate and all my nieces in their wedding finery.

 

I love that the three oldest grandchildren on Mike’s side of the family are girls. A brunette (Sarah), a blond (Megan), and a red head (Mary Kate). They’re gorgeous girls and best of friends.

My niece Bryn (bottom left) was the cutest little flower girl ever. She took her job of sprinkling the rose petals down the aisle very seriously. And Ivy, the adorable baby in the middle, was there to look super cute.

Congratulations to Laura and Tim!

A couple of days before the wedding Mike’s grandmother Reba Mable Tew Johnson, passed away. It was a good thing for Grandma, she had been sick for quite some time, but we will miss her.

I didn’t know Reba extremely well, but what I do know about her is that she was a hard working women, a dedicated mother and grandmother, and a faithful member of the church all her life. She was married to her high school sweetheart for 67 years and raised 10 children, my favorite of those being my mother-in-law Lynette, who, by the way, held it together like a trooper while marrying off her daughter, burying her mother, and playing hostess to the whole family!

It was a good week for us up in Cache Valley visiting with Mike’s family. It was good being all together again after so long. I’m very lucky to have the in-laws that I do. They are salt of the earth kind of people. Love you all!

Aren’t we gorgeous!

Photo by Lesa Bingham.

Face Mask

We went to see the lights at Temple Square with Mike’s family the other night. It was extremely cold. Jeffrey didn’t see much of anything, but his face was warm.