“Do you want me to send you back where you were…unemployed…in Greenland!”

It seems that for every situation in life there is a Princess Bride quote that can apply to that situation? Think about it… it’s true. Here’s a few examples…

Me: “Hey boys, turn off the TV for once and let’s read a book.” 
Boys: “A book?”
Me: “That’s right, when I was your age television was called books.”

or…When I need my bathroom cleaned (which I often do) I turn to Mike and say…
“Farm boy…polish my toilet. I want my face shining in it by morning.”
“As you wish,” Mike replies.

or.. I always begin every conversation with any new acquaintance by saying…
”I don’t mean to pry, but do you by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”

Okay…maybe not that one, but it’s true that Princess Bride can apply to many a situation, as it has, once again to mine. After just seven months of being an employed person, I am, as Vizzini would say, “back to where I came from…unemployed, in Greenland.”

Due to many complicated, and not worth explaining happenings, I no longer have a job as the Social Media coordinator for Fresh Take at BYU Broadcasting. For the record, I was not fired or laid off, nor did I quit…in the traditional sense. Let’s just say that I ‘passed the buck’ and leave it at that. As of last week I am no longer someone’s employee, and I’m very much okay with that.

Having a job has been an interesting experience to say the least. I haven’t been someone’s employee since 1998 so it has been most eye opening to be employed again, and this time as the mother of three. What I gained the most from this short stint as an employed person, aside from a little extra money in my pocketbook, is perspective; much needed and appreciated perspective.

My whole life I’ve believed in the idea that it’s enough just to be a stay-at-home-mom and take care of my kids, my husband and my home; that doing so is the most important thing I can do with my time and energies. I believed this in theory, and obviously, in practice, but, I always had this nagging voice in the back of my brain (especially when I become really bored and uninspired, which is frequently) saying that there has to be more to life than cleaning bathrooms and folding laundry and helping with homework and serving snack 17 times a day to hungry children from all over the neighborhood. I always had this nagging idea that there had to be more to me. So, when I was offered an interesting part-time job that I could do mostly from home, I took it, despite the persistent feeling that it would be too much and I would regret it. I think maybe I just wanted to prove something to myself, and prove it I did.

I proved to myself that it really is enough to do the stay-at-home-mom thing and take care of my kids, my husband and my home; and that this is, for me, the most important thing I can do with my time and energies. That nagging voice in the back of my head chanting ‘there must be more’ has been quieted and I can say with conviction, I’m doing what’s best for me. I no longer wonder.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked my job for the most part. The work was challenging and fun, I thoroughly enjoyed the people I worked with and I loved doing something different, something more exciting than toilets and laundry. I loved going to lunch with co-workers and meeting interesting people who had lives very different from mine. As dumb as it sounds, I mostly enjoyed having a reason to get dressed up from time to time and go somewhere with grown ups. I also liked getting paid for doing work. It felt good to be contributing in a financial way to our household. It felt good to bring home some bacon, even if it was only a 1/4 pound or so.

But…despite all of that, there was a HUGE and uncomfortable trade off that ended up not being worth it…at least for me. After all the dressing up and lunches, the meeting of interesting people, and recognition for a job well done (something you never get at home), there were still toilets to be cleaned, and laundry to be done, homework to be completed and hungry kids that needed to be fed 17 snacks a day. Weirdly enough, none of those responsibilities went away just because I was working, and let’s face it, they’re never going away. With a job, even just a part-time one, my life became a tiring and precarious juggling act. All the good things about working never could quite out-weigh how difficult it was to keep all my balls in the air. I was feeling exhausted, stretched to thin and pulled in too many different directions. I’m not sure why I thought it would be different than that.

Having said all this, I realize that some moms do not come to the same conclusion; and I can appreciate that. I understand there are moms who work because their family counts on them to bring home a pay check. I understand that there are moms who work because they love it and need it for their sanity. Mom’s work for all kinds of reasons, and I’m down with them all. Also, I cannot tell you the respect I now have, in a very real way, for single moms and moms whose paychecks are relied upon to pay the bills. You are my heroes. Really and truly.

So…after all this rambling, I think what I’m saying is…I’m happy to be unemployed and I’m no longer yearning for anything else to distract me from what I do best. I’m more content than I’ve ever been to be where I am, doing what I’m doing, and I’m grateful that my short experience as an employed person provided me with this new realization, something I guess I needed to learn from experience.

I wrote a small poem to celebrate…

Three cheers for being unemployed in Greenland;
Gladly now, my domestic life appears much less bland.
I’m just happy to have the time to get that applesauce canned,
And the boys shoes and socks free of sandbox sand!

And to that you can say…

“Stop rhyming, and I mean it!”

”Anybody want a peanut?”